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Setting Boundaries in Recovery

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Healthy boundaries are essential to keeping your mental health in check. If you’re in recovery, it is especially important for you to learn to set healthy boundaries to help you understand your inherent value and the value of your healing process. This can present a challenge for people in recovery, as healthy boundaries tend to take a backseat to other priorities throughout your struggle with addiction. Learning to set healthy boundaries is a fundamental part of a balanced recovery. What does a healthy boundary look like?

What Are Healthy Boundaries?

Boundaries are physical, mental, and emotional limits that people set for themselves to protect their overall well-being. These limits can help you define who you are while also letting others know how you expect to be treated. Healthy boundaries keep us safe from being manipulated or exploited. They help us populate our lives with people who are supportive and respectful. Setting healthy boundaries can give your recovery the chance to progress and flourish.

Boundaries apply to more than just your romantic relationships. It’s important to have healthy boundaries with every person in your life: your children, friends, parents, colleagues, and most of all, yourself. In recovery, having healthy boundaries with yourself can help you regulate your relationship with the person you wish to become. For example, healthy boundaries can cultivate self-discipline, which allows you to practice appropriate behavior, mental and emotional regulation, and impulse control. Setting healthy boundaries for yourself can enable you to follow through on commitments that you make to your highest priorities.

What Makes for a Healthy Boundary?

The purpose of healthy boundaries is to create respect, both from yourself and others. Self-respect is key to a successful recovery. Setting boundaries that generate that respect can help you internalize your worth. You can learn to love and appreciate yourself and invest in your well-being. Some examples of healthy boundaries include:

  • Thoughtfully evaluating how your interpersonal relationships affect your recovery
  • Maintaining your own identity in a relationship
  • Clearly and respectfully expressing your needs
  • Maintaining personal beliefs and values despite what others may think
  • Treating yourself with respect
  • Building relationships that are built on trust and kindness
  • Loving and accepting yourself

Why Do We Create Unhealthy Boundaries?

Many people in recovery have had an especially hard time setting boundaries with themselves and others. This issue can go as far back as childhood. Children raised by neglectful parents who fail to model healthy emotional relationships are more likely to lack understanding of the value of healthy boundaries as an adult. On the other end of the spectrum, kids who grow up with strict parents are at risk of becoming overly dependent on others, leading to codependency issues. Examples of unhealthy boundaries can include:

  • Impulsive behavior, especially within relationships
  • Beginning relationships that are toxic for your recovery
  • Self-doubting or belittling yourself
  • Ignoring personal values to please or gain acceptance from other people
  • Belittling others
  • Lack of trust in others
  • Forcing personal beliefs on others
  • Allowing others to tell you who you should and shouldn’t be
  • Making excuses for others who treat you poorly.

Enforcing Healthy Boundaries

Many people set healthy boundaries for themselves and then fail to enforce them. It is equally important to enforce your boundaries as it is to set them; otherwise, they’ll amount to nothing more than a well-intentioned piece of paper. Follow these steps to begin establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries for yourself:

  1. Know Your Worth. You have the right to your own thoughts, emotions, values, and beliefs. You have the right to express yourself and to let others know how you would like to be treated.
  2. Identify Sobriety Risk Factors. Write down everything that can jeopardize your sobriety. This can include anything from people, places, and sensations to abstract memories. Be honest and thorough.
  3. Set Your Boundaries. Once you identify your risk factors, write down your boundaries. Use specific language, such as “I need to cut all ties with …” or “I will not go to this store because it triggers me to buy alcohol.”
  4. Enforce Your Boundaries. Enforcing your boundaries takes honesty, commitment, and patience. If you feel yourself slipping, take action.
  5. Remain Accountable. Reach out to your sponsor, family members, or support groups to hold yourself accountable. Your support groups are there for this purpose, so don’t ever think that you are bothering them or that they don’t have time for you. If your support groups start to make you feel this way, it’s time to find a new, healthier group of peers.
  6. Respect the Boundaries of Others. Just as your boundaries should be respected, make sure to respect other people’s boundaries.

Remember that setting healthy boundaries in recovery is not selfish. Healthy boundaries are vital to your emotional and mental health, your sense of self-worth, and your long-term recovery.

Setting healthy boundaries for yourself is vital to the success of your recovery. Although at times it may feel like you are being selfish for setting boundaries, it’s never your duty to sacrifice your self-worth or self-respect for the priorities of others. Setting healthy boundaries can let others know that your beliefs and needs are important to you. Investing in your self-esteem this way can help keep you on track to practice positive behaviors, combat impulsivity, and follow through on your commitments, all of which are beneficial to a balanced recovery. If you or a loved one are struggling with establishing healthy boundaries and overcoming addiction, reach out to Achieve Concierge today. Our dynamic team is dedicated to helping individuals with their recovery journey. Gain the irreplaceable value of self-respect and move forward in sobriety. Your success is our mission. Call Achieve Concierge today at (858) 221-0344 to make a real change.

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8 Signs You’ve Found the Right Therapist

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It’s not always easy to open up about personal topics like mental health, addiction, or family problems. Finding the right therapist can make a world of difference; then again, finding the right therapist isn’t always easy, either. It can take more than one try to connect with a mental health professional, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Here are eight signs that you may have found the right therapist for you:

  1. You Feel Safe.

    When you decide to go to therapy, you want to find a space where you feel comfortable opening up about topics that might make you feel uneasy. Most people seek therapy to talk about deeply-rooted fears and desires, making it crucial for your therapist to make you feel comfortable opening up about anything that comes up in your sessions. The right therapist will provide a safe space by creating a consistent, confidential atmosphere that allows you to explore your troubles in peace.

  2. You Can Be Honest.

    Some of the topics explored in therapy may be things you haven’t shared with anyone before. To make the most of your therapy sessions, you need to be able to talk about your issues with complete honesty. Although this can be difficult at first, once you have found the right therapist, you will be able to speak your honest truth because you know that you’re in a space that is safe and judgment-free. When you can start to speak freely about your innermost thoughts and feelings, even if they don’t feel or sound good, you can start to regain your power and make progress in therapy.

  3. You Feel Heard.

    Opening up can be hard, especially when it’s about topics that are causing you pain or distress. You may have tried reaching out to someone in the past, only to be met with judgment or invalidation. When you find the right therapist, you will start to feel like you are being listened to and understood. The right therapist will make you feel like you are being heard, make you feel like your feelings are truly important, and show you empathy. They will not make you feel judged or criticized. Feeling truly heard can be one of the most empowering and important parts of your therapeutic process.

  4. You Feel Validated.

    A sure sign that you’ve found a good therapist is that you feel validation for your thoughts, emotions, actions, and experiences. Validation is a powerful resource that can work wonders for your overall mental health. This doesn’t mean that your therapist is going to agree with everything you say; that would be seeking approval. Validation means they’ll tell you that your thoughts and feelings are real, are allowed, and deserve attention. Validation from a therapist means that they acknowledge that the things you tell them are your true experiences.

  5. They Have Your Best Interest in Mind.

    The right therapist is there to help you find resources that are specific to your individual needs. They won’t force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that you do not want to do. This includes decisions about treatment, such as prescribed medications and therapeutic methods.

  6. They’re a Strong Communicator.

    Strong communicators listen more than they speak. Listening is one important part of a therapist’s job, and being an educator is another. When your therapist speaks, you should be able to understand exactly what they are saying. Using a lot of technical, scientific terms doesn’t always indicate that someone is a good match. The right therapist will ask you questions to make sure that you understand them, and when you don’t, they will always be willing to re-explain until you’re on the same page.

  7. You Trust Them.

    Trust is necessary when exposing your deepest darkest secrets. A 2019 study found that trust is the most important ingredient between a therapist and a client. While it can take time to develop deep trust with your therapist, once you do, you’ll be able to reach stronger levels of healing.

  8. You Can Feel the Difference.

    While your troubles won’t all go away after one session (or even a couple), the right therapist will bring about a noticeable change in the way you feel over time. Treatment length can vary depending on the person, but the initial effects of therapy can appear within a month of starting treatment. According to the American Psychological Association, it takes an average of 15-20 sessions for a person to resolve mental health symptoms. Although the differences may be small at first, the right therapist will help you use those small differences as stepping stones to achieve powerful and long-lasting change.

Making the decision to start therapy can be intimidating and nerve-wracking. The very thought of opening up to a stranger can bring on its own feelings of anxiety and discomfort. When you are ready to get help and invest in your mental health, finding the right therapist is a delicate process that can make all the difference to your healing process. Some people find the right therapist quickly, while others may go through dozens of practitioners. While this can be an arduous process, it’s one that’s ultimately worth the effort. It’s okay to take your time to find a therapist who makes you feel truly comfortable. Having a therapist you can trust is crucial to your personal development and long-term mental health. At Achieve Concierge, we know the importance of quality care. We have an exemplary team of professionals who are ready to provide you with a space that is safe, open, and conducive to your health. Call Achieve Concierge today at (858) 221-0344.

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Am I Grieving or Depressed?

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Losing a loved one is a jarring, tragic experience. It brings on a period of grief that can be filled with sadness, anger, and anxiety. It can make you uncertain if the sadness will ever go away. Although grief and depression share many similar symptoms, they are unique and distinct states. Being able to recognize these distinctions is important, yet it can be difficult to understand if you are just grieving or if it could be something more.

What is Grief?

Grief is a normal and natural response after you have experienced loss. Although you may associate grief with losing a loved one, many significant losses can trigger grief. These can include:

  • The end of a relationship
  • Moving to a new location or job
  • A much-anticipated opportunity, or life goal that abruptly didn’t work out as expected
  • The loss of a pet

Allowing yourself to grieve is important, as it frees up energy that connects us to the lost person, event, or experience. Grieving does not make you weak, nor should it have any negative connotations. Healthy grieving allows us to remember the person or experience and achieve a sense of peace.

Experiencing Grief

During a period of grief, you may experience some or all of the following symptoms:

  • Loss of appetite, which can result in significant weight loss
  • Overwhelming feelings of sadness, despair, and mourning
  • Anger at the person, God, those responsible, themselves, or others
  • Uncontrollable crying
  • Poor concentration
  • Restlessness
  • Insomnia
  • Mood swings
  • Feelings of guilt (“if only I had…”)
  • Social withdrawal
  • Feeling of numbness
  • Loss of the meaning of life

The Emotional Ups and Downs of Grief

Some describe the experience of grief as an emotional rollercoaster. Grief sweeps over them, then seems to subside, only to come back again. Grieving the loss of a loved one can come with many different emotions. One minute you may be filled with sadness as you think about how they are gone forever, while the next you’re filled with laughter as you remember moments you shared.

All of this is normal. It is common to start feeling better in certain situations, such as when you are enjoying time spent with family or friends. Then a triggering event occurs, such as the deceased person’s birthday or another instance when feelings of sadness resurface. Again, this is normal.

Your reactions may be so intense or irrational that you feel as though they are going crazy or will never get over the loss. In other cases, you may be afraid to allow yourself to grieve in fear of being consumed by negative emotions. No matter what, these feelings eventually start to decrease in intensity, allowing you to regain your composure and get back to living your life. The length of time for grief varies greatly. Everyone grieves differently, and that’s okay.

Complicated Grief

Grief can develop into complicated grief, which does not dissipate with time and can resemble depression. In extreme cases, a person with complicated grief may engage in self-harm behaviors or even think about or attempt suicide. Other symptoms associated with complicated grief include:

  • Intense sadness and/or anger
  • Consistent irritability
  • Difficulty accepting that your loved one has passed
  • Excessive focus on what has happened
  • Thoughts of “joining” or being “reunited” with the deceased
  • Sensations of seeing or hearing things that are not present

If you or someone you love may be struggling with complicated grief, reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can provide you with professional help. You can also reach out to your healthcare provider. Complicated grief is a volatile condition, and it’s important to reach out as soon as possible to get the help you need right away.

Getting Through It

While grief might carry generalized symptoms, your personal emotional experience is unique to you. Finding healthy ways to cope and balance yourself through trying times is vital for your mental health. Here are some ways to cope with this difficult experience:

  • Reach out to loved ones
  • Express your feelings
  • Take care of your mental and physical well being
  • Enjoy life however you can
  • Be patient with yourself
  • Seek assistance from a mental health provider

Be gentle with yourself. This is a hard time for anyone, and if this is the first death you have experienced, you’re trying to navigate uncharted emotional waters. The main difference between grief and depression is that grief tends to decrease over time, whereas depression tends to be more persistent and pervasive. Either way, if you or a loved one are experiencing overwhelming feelings of grief, depression, or unidentified sadness, reach out for professional help right away.

Losing someone or something that we care about can be an indescribably difficult experience. The intensity of grief can wax and wane over time, leaving you emotionally fraught and impairing your ability to function. The symptoms of grief can overlap with signs of depression, leaving you feeling uncertain whether your heavy feelings will ever pass. While grieving any loss is a healthy and important part of your relationship with the world, depression can snowball into a dangerous burden that saps your enthusiasm for the good parts of life. If negative feelings are interfering with your ability to live, don’t let them accumulate in silence. Seeking professional help can get you back on track to emotional well-being. It can be difficult to get help during a difficult time, but it’s important to invest in yourself so that you can go on to experience life’s highs and lows to your fullest capacity. Reach out to Achieve Concierge at (858) 221-0344 to get help today.

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Smiling Depression

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Have you ever heard of smiling depression? It’s a form of depression in which a person seems happy and thriving on the outside, while inside they are severely struggling. Smiling depression, also known as walking depression or high-functioning depression,  is one of the most dangerous forms of depression because it can go entirely undetected, making it less likely for those who struggle with it to get the support or treatment they need. Because they don’t show signs like people with other forms of depression, individuals with smiling depression can also be at higher risk of suicide.

When you think of someone struggling with depression, you may think about someone who is consistently sad and acts distant. While in many cases, people who suffer from depression are sad, lethargic, and full of despair, it’s important to recognize that depression can look different for everyone. This is why it is so important to always check in on those around you.

Is Smiling Depression a Real Thing?

Although “smiling depression” is not recognized as a distinct condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (“DSM-5”), those who may show symptoms would likely be diagnosed with major depressive disorder with atypical features, forming what is known as atypical depression. It is important to seek treatment to be properly diagnosed and to receive effective treatment.

How to Identify Smiling Depression

A person who suffers from smiling depression may appear to have it all together. They can act entirely normal and have a well-arranged public life. Their social media presence may look almost perfect, showing only images of their best, happiest selves.

On the inside, however, individuals with smiling depression are experiencing the distressful symptoms of depression. While the symptoms may be essentially identical to those of major depressive disorder, what makes them atypical is the fact that the person is experiencing them internally and not visibly expressing them. People with smiling depression can also experience a lift in mood due to positive events around them, further enhancing the facade that they are emotionally healthy.

False Beliefs

False beliefs can prevent individuals with smiling depression from seeking support and treatment. Here are some examples of common false beliefs:

  • “I can’t complain because so many people have it way worse than I do.”
  • “My parents have a lot on their plate already; I don’t need to add any more stress or worry to their lives.”
  • “Asking for help is a sign of weakness.”
  • “Everybody thinks I’m doing great, and I don’t want to disappoint them.”
  • “I just need to suck it up.”
  • “It’s not really that bad.”

Smiling Depression and the Risk of Suicide

Because the person appears to be happy and content on the outside and doesn’t fit the stereotypical image of depression, family and friends often fail to notice that someone with smiling depression is struggling at all. In some cases, the person themselves may not even realize they are depressed. This can create extremely dangerous internal conditions. One of the biggest risks of smiling depression is that it goes unnoticed, untreated, and ultimately ends in tragedy.

Teens with Smiling Depression

Teenagers can often seem full of energy while internally experiencing intense symptoms of depression. Teens coping with smiling depression often feel isolated and obligated to put on a happy face for the world. Internally, they are exhausted from the facade that masks their depression, and often experience deep anxiety as they try to hide their symptoms from those around them. Other symptoms teens may experience include:

  • Anxiety
  • Mood swings
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Feeling “too fast” or “too slow”
  • Self-harm
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Lack of self-confidence and self-worth
  • Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness

Teens with smiling depression are often able to hide their symptoms from close friends and parents. It is vital that parents watch out for physical and behavioral signs that their teen is struggling internally. Some important signs to look out for include:

  • Changes in their sleep patterns, including sleeping too much or too little
  • Significant changes in their appetite and/or weight
  • Feelings of heaviness in their arms and legs
  • Complaints of body aches and/or headaches
  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Substance abuse
  • Extreme reactions to what they feel is rejection or criticism

Seeking Help for Smiling Depression

Since the warning signs of smiling depression can be so subtle, it is extremely important to maintain open, honest communication with your loved ones. Cultivating a space that is safe and judgment-free can help those struggling with any form of depression to feel comfortable enough to reach out for your help.

Smiling depression, also known as walking depression or high-functioning depression, can affect anyone. Symptoms can look different than the common stereotypes of depression, making it a difficult condition to detect. On the outside, those struggling with smiling depression appear to be happy and thriving, while on the inside they are dealing with severe, life-consuming symptoms. Teens with smiling depression can often keep their symptoms hidden especially well from their friends and family members and may cultivate a strong image on social media that portrays someone who has a perfect life and who is extremely happy.  Because symptoms can go undetected, those with smiling depression are at higher risk of suicide. If you or someone you love are struggling with any symptoms of depression, reach out to Achieve Concierge today. We have a stellar team of clinicians who can help children, teens, or adults overcome mental illness and achieve emotional health. Call us at (858) 221-0344 to learn more.

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Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

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As parents, we want the best for our children. We strive to give them the chance to live a life that is rich with love and support. We do our best to provide their bodies and minds with nutritional value. When our children misbehave or act out, we step in and guide them to express and process their emotions more effectively. Children typically grow out of the temper tantrum stage and learn to regulate their emotions as they get older; for those struggling with disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, however, it is not always that easy.

What is Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder?

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, or DMDD, is a condition that appears in childhood. Children with DMDD are chronically irritable or angry and may experience frequent, severe temper outbursts. These outbursts are usually inappropriate to a child’s developmental level and out of proportion to the situation at hand. Children and adolescents diagnosed with DMDD are not simply in a “bad mood” or acting out. DMDD symptoms are severe and can seriously affect a child’s quality of life.

DMDD is a fairly new disorder, first appearing in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (“DSM-5”) in 2013. DMDD was identified to more accurately diagnose children who were previously labeled with pediatric bipolar disorder. Youth with DMDD have a hard time regulating their emotions in an age-appropriate manner and often experience significant problems at home, at school, and with peers. Without proper diagnosis and treatment, kids with DMDD have a high school suspension rate and are more likely to develop other mood disorders.

What are the Signs and Symptoms?

Your child may have DMDD if they show signs of severe temper outbursts, verbal or behavioral, on average of three or more times per week for at least 12 months. Another requirement for diagnosis is strained interactions with their parents, teachers, and peers. Other signs may include:

  • Chronic irritation
  • Regular Anger
  • Overreacting to things that don’t seem warranted
  • Trouble functioning in more than one place (e.g., home and school)

Determining a Diagnosis

If you think your child may have DMDD, speak with your healthcare provider. Consider keeping a journal describing your child’s behavior, including information like the duration and intensity of a tantrum. If this is not possible, be sure to provide your child’s doctor with a detailed description of the behaviors you observe. An accurate diagnosis is vital for effective treatment.

The onset of DMDD symptoms typically begins around 10 years old, though children can be diagnosed as young as the age of six. DMDD symptoms can appear simultaneously with other disorders that entail increased irritability, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and anxiety disorders.

Treatment for Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder is treatable. A treatment plan generally consists of psychotherapy (also known as talk therapy) and medications. Determining the best method to treat your child’s symptoms is a team effort; in most cases, psychotherapy is considered first, while medication necessity is evaluated.

  1. Psychotherapy
    Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is used to help people learn to cope with their thoughts and feelings. CBT is often used to treat individuals with anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders to help them cope with and manage their feelings effectively. Clinicians can help children with DMDD by teaching them techniques to increase their tolerance for frustration without engaging in an outburst. Throughout CBT sessions, children learn coping skills that will help them control their anger while simultaneously being able to identify triggers that spark their outbursts.
  2. Parent Training
    Guardians should receive specific training to teach them more effective ways to respond to their child’s difficult behavior. Through parent training, parents and caregivers can learn the importance of predictability, being consistent with children, and the value of rewarding positive behavior.
  3. Medications
    Currently, there are no medications that have been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to specifically treat DMDD. However, many healthcare providers prescribe certain medications, such as stimulants, antidepressants, and atypical antipsychotics, that have been shown to relieve DMDD symptoms in children and young adults.
    • Stimulants are often used to treat those with ADHD.
    • Antidepressants are used to treat irritability and mood problems whose symptoms can overlap with those of DMDD.
    • Atypical antipsychotics are sometimes used to treat children with irritability, severe outbursts, or aggression.

All medications come with risks and should always be monitored by both a responsible adult and a healthcare professional. If you are unsure about any medications or need additional information, reach out to your health care provider or mental health care professional before making any decisions.

There is no doubt that raising kids comes with its challenges. You do your best to raise healthy children, and despite understanding that sometimes your children are going to be moody, it can be frustrating when your child misbehaves. No matter how many times you’ve corrected their behavior or given them a consequence, nothing seems to work. Children and adolescents with disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) struggle to control their emotions. Their outbursts are severe; they are constantly irritable and angry. Youth with DMDD find it difficult to get along with their parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers, and often experience increased challenges at school. At Achieve Concierge, we specialize in helping children and adolescents as well as adults. Receiving a proper diagnosis is vital for effective treatment. We want to be the ones to help you and your child through these trying times. Reach out to Achieve Concierge at (858) 221-0344 to get effective help today.

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Bipolar Disorder: How to Spot the Signs

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You know your body, and you know when things aren’t working the way they should. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint what you’re feeling because you simply don’t understand what your body is going through. If you have or suspect a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, there are certain signs that you can look for.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental illness that causes severe changes in a person’s mood, energy, activity levels, concentration, and ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. These changes can go from high to low and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. For some, these mood changes can become mixed, causing a person to feel elated and depressed all at the same time.

There are three types of bipolar disorder, each involving clear changes in a person’s mood, energy, and activity levels. From most to least severe, they are:

  • Bipolar I Disorder is defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days or by manic symptoms that are so severe that it causes a person to seek medical attention. Depressive episodes may occur as well, as can a simultaneous mixture of depressive symptoms and manic symptoms.
  • Bipolar II Disorder is defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, which are generally less intense than full-blown manic symptoms.
  • Cyclothymic Disorder, or Cyclothymia, is defined by periods of hypomanic symptoms with periods of depressive symptoms that last for at least 2 years. However, the symptoms typically do not meet the diagnostic criteria for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.

Bipolar isn’t a rare disorder; in fact, bipolar disorder affects approximately 5.7 million adult Americans. The median age of onset for bipolar disorder is 25 years old, though it can appear as early as childhood or late as one’s 50s. The World Health Organization lists bipolar disorder as the sixth leading cause of disability in the world. Although bipolar is not a rare disorder, it can be hard to diagnose.

Identifying the Signs of Bipolar Disorder

Being bipolar is more than just being “moody.” Individuals with bipolar disorder experience intense emotions, changes in their sleep patterns and activity levels, and uncharacteristic behaviors referred to as “mood episodes.” Mood episodes are not the same as being moody. These episodes often last for full days, sometimes for several days or weeks.

Signs of Manic Episodes May Include:

  • Feeling “up,” “high,” or irritable
  • Feeling “jumpy” or “weird”
  • Increasingly poor sleep hygiene
  • Loss of appetite
  • A need to talk a lot about multiple and random topics
  • The desire to do many things at once
  • Constant racing thoughts
  • The desire to indulge in risky or reckless behaviors
  • Overwhelming feelings of self-righteousness

Signs of Depressive Episodes May Include:

  • Feeling sad, “down,” or hopeless
  • Extreme feelings of restlessness
  • Difficulty falling asleep, waking up, or sleeping too much
  • An increase in appetite or weight gain
  • Feeling lethargic, or like you don’t have anything to say
  • Trouble concentrating
  • The inability to do simple things
  • Little to no interest in activities you once enjoyed
  • Decreased or absent sex drive
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

It is possible for an individual to feel both manic and depressive symptoms in the same period. A person does not have to experience all of these symptoms to be struggling with bipolar disorder. Individuals who experience hypomania may feel especially good and be able to keep up with daily life while still experiencing other symptoms.

Treatment and Therapy

If you’re showing signs of bipolar disorder, it’s essential to seek professional assistance from your primary healthcare provider or licensed mental health professional. Obtaining a proper diagnosis allows you to receive effective treatment, helping you live a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Although treatment looks different for every person, treatment plans usually consist of a combination of medication and psychotherapy.

Although bipolar disorder is a lifelong illness, ongoing treatment can help you manage your symptoms. Some other ways to cope with bipolar disorder include:

  • Seek treatment and stick to it. Recovery takes time, and while it’s not always going to be easy, effective treatment is the best way to start feeling better.
  • Don’t skip your medical or therapy appointments. Be honest with your doctors so they can make sure you’re receiving the treatment you need.
  • Take your medications as directed.
  • Keep a routine. Make sure your body is getting the nutrients, sleep, and exercise it needs.
  • Learn to recognize the warning signs of your mood swings and share them with your friends and family.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your friends and family want to help you. Don’t think you need to do this on your own.
  • Avoid misusing drugs and alcohol.
  • Most importantly, be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.

Living with bipolar disorder can feel exhausting, isolating, and frightening. It can cause us to engage in behaviors that are not healthy for us, such as misusing drugs and alcohol. Those struggling with bipolar disorder can often feel periods of intense emotional highs and lows. These changes in mood can become mixed for some people, causing them to feel both elated and depressed. Although bipolar disorder is a lifelong illness that can be hard to diagnose, there are ways for you to recognize the signs and find an effective treatment plan that can help you lead a healthy and balanced life. At Achieve Concierge, we have a team of experienced professionals who can help children, adolescents, and adults. If you wonder if you have bipolar disorder or need assistance in managing your bipolar symptoms, reach out to Achieve Concierge today. Don’t wait any longer to get effective help. Call us at (858) 221-0344 today.

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Signs That Your Child is Self-Harming

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As a parent, you want nothing more for your children than to be safe, happy, and healthy. The thought of your child hurting themselves can stop you in your tracks. If you learn or suspect that your child is hurting themselves, you might feel shocked, afraid, or even angry. You may feel guilty, as though you could have done something to prevent it. It’s hard to understand, and it can leave you at a loss. Your first step is to figure out how you can help. It’s important to be able to identify the signs of psychological distress that can lead to self-harm.

What is Self-Harm and What Causes It?

Self-harm is when a person deliberately hurts themselves to help them manage or cope with strong negative emotions. It can allow the individual to gain control over the overwhelming feelings they are experiencing or serve as a means of finding relief. Some turn to self-harm to feel something other than the loneliness, emptiness, or hopelessness that they are experiencing. Ultimately, self-harm is a sign of distress. It’s crucial to find out why your child is self-harming to allow you to find the right solution to their problems. 

Forms of Self-Harm

Whether obvious or subtle, physically dangerous or symbolic, self-harm can look different for everyone. Forms of self-harm can include:

  • Cutting, scratching, or carving themselves
  • Branding or marking the body
  • Pulling hair, or ripping it out altogether
  • Picking at scabs to prevent them from healing
  • Burning themselves
  • Biting or hitting themselves
  • Hitting their body against something

Signs That Your Child is Hurting Themselves

Most people who self-harm attempt to hide their wounds. They may feel ashamed of their behavior or worry that others will be angry, judge them, or won’t understand. If you’re concerned that your child might be self-harming, look out for these signs:

  • Injuries from cutting or scratching as if with a razor, paperclip, tack, or anything that can break the skin
  • Multiple similar marks in one area
  • Any wound or injury that your child cannot clearly explain
  • A sudden fascination with or desire to learn about self-harm and other destructive behaviors
  • A desire to hide certain body parts by covering them up unusually, such as by wearing long-sleeved shirts on hot days, constantly wearing band-aids, or other means of covering specific areas
  • An increase in symptoms of anxiety, stress, or depression
  • A traumatic or emotional event that can trigger distress such as a breakup with a boyfriend/girlfriend, ending a friendship, pandemic isolation, or rejection from a university
  • A dramatic change in behavior, such as isolating themselves from friends and family

Talking to Your Child About Self-Harm

One of the most productive and powerful things you can do for your child is to let them know that you are there to listen and that you love them no matter what. If your child does open up to you, listen to them carefully and validate their feelings. Remember that they are in distress. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, they feel the way they do for a reason. Do your best to understand and validate their feelings to maintain a safe environment where they can feel heard and respected. 

Speak calmly, directly, and without judgment. Make compassionate statements like “I can tell you’re upset about this,” “I’m here to listen to you, and I won’t get angry.” Avoid saying counterproductive things like “you’re only doing this for attention” or “just grow up already.” Most self-harm isn’t about getting attention, and even if that’s the source, it still indicates a dangerous emotional imbalance.

Finding a Solution for Self-Harm

Your child may feel ashamed to talk about self-harm, so be sensitive in initiating the conversation and let them know that you are there for them. You can say things such as “I noticed the scars are your arm. Would you like to talk about them?” At the same time, limit your questions. While it’s normal for you to want to know why this is happening, bombarding your child with questions on a subject that makes them uneasy can overwhelm them and limit their willingness to continue the conversation. 

If you witness any cuts or injuries, address them calmly. Most kids who self-harm hide their injuries from their parents to prevent them from worrying. Do your best not to overreact or make them feel uncomfortable about the injuries they’ve caused themselves. Get medical attention as necessary. Reach out to a mental health counselor who can recommend different therapies depending on your child’s needs. Treatment might include psychological therapy for your child as well as for your family. 

 

Finding out or even entertaining the notion that your child is cutting or otherwise hurting themselves in any way can leave you feeling shocked, sad, guilty, and overwhelmed. It can be extremely painful to figure out how to help your child while also managing your feelings. Although you might feel angry or want to ask your child a barrage of questions, the best thing you can do is to remain calm and provide a space for your child to feel loved and free of judgment. While self-harm stems from a variety of causes, the signs are often consistent. If you are concerned that your child is practicing self-harm, you must seek professional help right away. The expert professionals at Achieve Concierge specialize in youth mental health services. Our mission is to provide individualized services to your child or teen at the deepest mental level. Let us help you to help your child through this difficult time. Call us at (858) 221-0344 to learn more.

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Helping Your Soldier Battle PTSD

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I was awakened by loud, erratic noises. I was still partially asleep, so I tried to push through the fog and figure out what was going on. Though I could hear the hustle and bustle of the city outside our downtown apartment, that wasn’t the noise that awoke me. My husband was frantically moving around our bedroom, mumbling words I couldn’t make out. It could have been that the words were incomprehensible, or that I wasn’t fully awake. I kept asking him what he was doing, only to receive replies that didn’t make sense to me. He was looking for his rifle, and he got angrier when he couldn’t find it. We didn’t have any guns in the house – what was he even talking about? As I watched him scurry about the bedroom shoveling things around, I realized he wasn’t mentally in that room. Physically, he was present, but mentally, he was back in Afghanistan. He was searching for the weapon that he had used so many times in combat – the weapon one that saved his life. His nightmares and dissociations would only increase in the years to come, and I soon realized I needed to do everything I could to help my husband manage his PTSD. 

If you have a loved one currently enlisted or who has served in the military, you’ll want to support them however you can. You’ll feel pride in the sacrifices they chose to make to protect the country they love and are honored to serve. Sometimes there’s a darkness that comes with the sacrifices that these men and women carry for a lifetime. Many veterans come home with deep pain that they can’t shake by themselves, and without access to the right tools and support, that pain can take over their lives.

The Link Between Military Service and PTSD

PTSD is commonly caused by a single traumatic event or the accumulation of numerous high-stress situations. Exposure to combat situations, live or simulated, can profoundly negatively impact a person’s mind and body. The correlation between military service and post-traumatic stress disorder is strong; it is estimated that as many as 500,000 U.S. troops who fought in wars over the past 13 years have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. The U.S Department for Veterans Affairs lists that about 30% of Vietnam veterans and about 12% of Gulf War veterans have or had PTSD.

Symptoms of PTSD

Sometimes PTSD symptoms may not appear until your loved one comes home and attempts to return to civilian life. They may begin to develop night terrors or dissociate when triggered by different sounds, smells, or encounters. While they are undoubtedly doing their best to cope with what’s going on inside their head, the memories the body is trying to connect can be confusing, especially when a person is alone in trying to manage them. Symptoms of PTSD can include:

  • Feeling upset or discomforted by things that trigger memories
  • Difficulty sleeping due to nightmares and restlessness
  • Vivid memories or flashbacks of traumatic events
  • Feeling isolated 
  • Feeling numb 
  • Being constantly on guard or easily startled
  • Angry outbursts or hostility
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Substance abuse
  • Self-harm and suicidal thoughts 

How to Help Your Veteran 

If you live with someone who’s battling PTSD, you will likely witness their symptoms and may even feel secondhand effects. Trying to help your loved one effectively manage their PTSD may require turning to professional help, and there’s nothing wrong with that. While you may not be able to cure them on your own, there are steps you can take to make a difference right away.

Educate Yourself. Take the time to learn about PTSD and recognize its symptoms. Like most mental illnesses, there’s a great deal of stigma surrounding PTSD. Try to relate to your loved one’s emotional experience by gaining an understanding of how PTSD makes them feel.

Be Supportive. They will likely experience some form of social isolation. This can arise from feeling unsafe, experiencing anxiety, or worrying about being judged. Support their choices to skip events, and don’t presume to know better than they do.

Be Patient and Listen. Don’t pressure them to tell you what happened or why they are feeling a certain way. If they decide to open up to you, just listen. Provide a space where they feel safe and comfortable.

Learn Their Triggers. Being able to identify your loved one’s triggers can allow you to help them avoid those situations whenever possible. Symptoms of PTSD can be triggered by sounds, smells, people, locations, events, and even types of weather or environment.

Encourage Them to Seek Treatment: 

Fortunately, there is treatment for those who have PTSD. Two types of treatment have shown to be particularly effective in addressing PTSD: counseling and medication. These can both help your loved ones find stability, learn coping mechanisms, and manage their symptoms.

 

Watching your loved one struggle with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, can be challenging and heart-wrenching. Though you want to help them, you may not know how, causing you to feel closed off from them and powerless. There are ways for you to show your soldier that you see them and that you are there to support them through trying times. It is important to learn to recognize their triggers, watch for symptoms, and educate yourself. For expert guidance on how to help your soldier fight this battle, reach out to Achieve Concierge. Our expert clinicians provide care for PTSD that aims to treat the entire body, which helps achieve positive long-term results. PTSD is not an easy battle, and you don’t need to face it alone. Get your loved ones the help they need to move forward. Reach out to us today for a free treatment consultation. Call Achieve Concierge at (858) 221-0344 to learn more.

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The Importance of Cutting Toxic People Out of Your Life

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Although removing toxic people from your life won’t always be a walk in the park, sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for your mental and physical well-being. It might not take you long to think of which person or people in your life are unhealthy for you. They may treat you cruelly, manipulate you, or criticize you constantly. They may cause you to feel bad about yourself to the point that the shame drives you to engage in destructive behaviors. Interacting with someone like this can constitute emotional abuse.

Despite these red flags, it isn’t always easy to understand or accept how dangerous these relationships are. You may think that such a person really does have your best interests in mind. It’s vital to be able to recognize when a relationship is causing you serious turmoil or is negatively impacting your mental health.

While the thought of creating space can be scary or overwhelming, it is important to prioritize your mental well-being. Although you are not responsible for how people behave, you can end relationships that do not treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Here are a few tips to help you end an unhealthy relationship to allow your mental health to blossom:

Identify the Toxic Relationship

The first thing you need to do is identify the person or people negatively affecting your mental health. You may already know exactly who this person is, or it may take some careful thought. Try to think about whether anyone in your life makes you feel bad about yourself or tries to control or manipulate you. Does anyone in your life make you feel anxious? Do you feel overwhelmed with dread by the thought of talking to or seeing someone? These may serve as indicators that this person is toxic. In general, people should not make you feel anxious, depressed, or cause you to doubt your self-worth. Instead, they should lift you up and bring joy to your life. Here is a list of toxic traits to look for:

  • They manipulate you
  • They make you feel bad about yourself
  • They judge you constantly
  • They are consumed by negativity
  • They are passive-aggressive
  • They are overly self-centered
  • They have issues with anger management
  • They are controlling or demanding of your time and attention

Stand Your Ground

When deciding to cut a toxic relationship out of your life, there is a chance that you may experience backlash. A toxic person is not likely to immediately go away or change their behavior just because you asked them to. They may make promises that they will change or attempt to manipulate the situation, sometimes even making you feel like it was your fault. No matter what they do, stand your ground. Be upfront with them about why you are choosing to move on with your life and stick to it. Although this conversation can feel uncomfortable, it is necessary for your mental safety and stability. You can be kind, but you must be firm.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an important tool to keep you from accidentally slipping back to old habits. For example, if you have decided that you will cut all contact with a toxic person, take measures to eliminate your ability to reach out to them and prevent them from reaching out to you. Block or delete their number, email address, and social media accounts. Remember that it is equally important for you to maintain your boundaries as it is for them to respect the boundaries you set. 

Find Your Support System

Removing a toxic person from your life is a difficult process that can make you feel numerous negative emotions. It is important to find a healthy support network that you can depend on to help you maneuver through this painful time. Surround yourself with people who bring you joy and lift you up. Reach out to friends and family who will be there to listen, validate, and help you move forward. 

In some cases, a toxic relationship can isolate a person from their friends, family, and others who might serve as a support system. Don’t hesitate to make first contact; you might be amazed by how many of those friends and family members have been waiting for this day and will welcome you back with open arms. In other cases, reaching out to a mental health professional who can help you through this new chapter is the healthiest decision you can make. 

 

Choosing to close the door on a toxic relationship can feel challenging and scary. The person who is unhealthy for you might be a close friend, relative, work associate, or even your spouse. No matter who it is, if your relationship is harming your mental health, the best decision you can make is to cut them out of your life. Toxic people can make you feel consumed by a negative outlook on yourself or isolate you from people who truly are good for you. It’s crucial to take the necessary action to get your life back and be treated with the respect you deserve. Learning to stand your ground and set boundaries is one of the first steps you can take to eliminating toxic relationships. If you need professional assistance with this challenging process, or if you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues as a result of a toxic relationship, call Achieve Concierge at (858) 221-0344 for immediate help.

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Talking to Your Kids About Addiction, Recovery, and Your Past

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It’s tough to be vulnerable, especially with the people that you are supposed to protect. Many parents in recovery struggle to talk to their children about addiction; whether it be explaining why they have to leave for treatment, or discussing uncomfortable parts of their past that occurred while they were drinking and using. As a parent, you may also worry about how your addiction and recovery could affect your children, both now and in the long run.

Children who grow up in the presence of parental substance abuse are often confused, scared, and uncertain about the things they see happening around them. Some parents feel like it’s better to keep their children in the dark to protect them from the pain and ugliness that comes with addiction. This approach can leave children feeling insecure and distrustful of their caregivers. Avoiding difficult conversations with your children on topics like addiction may lead them to develop destructive beliefs, such as that household chaos is their fault or that they can fix it. Children may also experience overwhelming feelings of shame surrounding their family’s secrets or perceived brokenness.

Although talking to your kids about addiction may be uncomfortable, it can have tremendous short-term and long-term benefits. Choosing to ignore the issue or pretend that it doesn’t exist is likely to lead only to negative consequences, and won’t protect your child from the pain and turmoil that arise from addiction. You may be surprised by how much your child already knows about addiction in your household. Your addiction has already impacted your children; talking openly about addiction can help them find healthier ways to cope and process the trauma they are experiencing. 

Educate Yourself and Invest in Your Relationship

Before you have a conversation with your child about their parent’s addiction, be sure to educate yourself. It’s important to make sure that the information you’re sharing is both accurate and age-appropriate. For instance, children under the age of 10 often still view the world from a self-centered perspective. They may tend to blame themselves or believe that their parents are behaving a certain way because of something they did. They might think, “Maybe if I did better in school (or didn’t misbehave, or didn’t spend as much time with my friends), my parent wouldn’t need to drink so much.” These kinds of beliefs can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as codependency. Make sure to reassure your children that your addiction is not their fault and that they didn’t cause it, even inadvertently. Remind them that there is nothing that they could have done differently to prevent their parent’s substance use disorder. Finding a local or virtual Alateen for your child to participate in will help them build a supportive network of understanding peers and mentors. 

Children whose parents have an alcohol or substance use disorder are at higher risk for developing their own issues with drugs and alcohol later on in their life. Having open and honest conversations about addiction at this stage can help strengthen your relationship with your children and pave the way towards a better relationship in the future. Having a stronger relationship will give you the chance to help prevent your children from developing substance issues, as well as allow you to set a precedent of honesty and safety for them to come to you if they begin to experiment with drugs and alcohol. 

4 Messages Your Child Needs to Hear

The National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) lists four important messages that children of parents who suffer from addiction need to hear. Be sure to tell your children:

  1. Addiction is a disease
  2. It’s okay to talk about addiction
  3. It’s not your fault
  4. You are not alone

The NACoA also suggests that parents and caregivers encourage children to remember the “7 Cs of Addiction”:

  1. I didn’t cause it
  2. I can’t control it
  3. I can’t cure it
  4. I can care for myself
  5. By communicating my feelings,
  6. Making healthy choices, and 
  7. By celebrating myself

It’s Normal for This to Be Difficult

It’s completely understandable to feel uneasy about having the conversation of addiction and recovery with your child. Talking about these difficult issues can make you feel vulnerable and bring up feelings of shame and guilt, which can even cause you to wonder if you are doing the right thing, or whether you are going to lose the respect of your children. You may feel uncomfortable thinking about facing your child after you’ve exposed them to the truth about your addiction, or you could be dreading the questions they might ask you about your past. Challenging though it is, all of these feelings are normal parts of the healing process that the entire family must go through to reach acceptance and stability.

 

Choosing to speak openly about addiction with your children can be scary. You may feel that they aren’t ready to hear about tough topics like substance abuse and rehab, and you might worry about losing their respect or damaging your bond of trust. These are all normal concerns for a parent in recovery. While addiction can feel difficult to discuss, the more we talk honestly about our issues, the more we can break the stigmas that surround them. The initial conversation you have with your child about your past or present addiction will set the tone and precedent for a future relationship built on honesty and mutual support. To make sure that your efforts towards recovery benefit your family along with yourself, reach out to Achieve Concierge. We’re here to provide expert assistance during this challenging time. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Call us at (858) 221-0344 to learn more.